I am always amazed by all the ridiculously smart people on the interwebz, and when I stumbled upon The Tell-Tale Blog, I was floored yet again by Alex. She has the ability to meld the cerebral with the practical, and I always come away from her posts feeling a little bit smarter. Today's guest post is no exception. Read up, comment, then visit her blog!
About Alex: I am a fashion-loving scientist with a knack for photography and a passion for blogging. Somewhat of a wanderer in nature, I’ve spent the first 18 years of my life in Romania then I went to Lyon (France) for university. After four years in beautiful France and one in the UK, I came to Montreal where I’m doing my PhD. I have no idea (or better said, I refuse to make the mental effort to come up with a reason) why I started blogging, but if I stopped, I know I would miss it dearly. Blogging is constantly fueling my passion for photography. And taking pictures fuels my desire to share them with the world.
Coulomb's Laws do not Apply to Relationships
In 1780s Charles Augustin Coulomb, a guy who liked to use the old noodle, came up with a formula for the force of attraction or repulsion between electric charges. This theory of his later became known as Coulomb’s law and it basically says that “likes repel” and “opposites attract”.
Now, while I completely agree with Monsieur Coulomb on this matter as long as we’re sticking to the tremendously fascinating field of Electromagnetism, I profoundly disagree with those that extrapolate this finding to the ever more complex area of relationships.
I’m no expert by any stretch of the imagination, but from what life has taught me so far, “likes attract” is more the type of motto one should go by when seeking a significant other.
Some may say that we seek someone who would complement our personality, someone who fills the gaps so that together we form this karmic, tantric, [insert another Indian/Buddhist term here], perfect whole. But you know what (and I’m afraid you saw this coming)? I don’t think that’s entirely true.
Sure, the occasional “good girl” will fall for a “bad boy” or vice versa, an introvert will fall for an extrovert, an Opera-lover will fall for a Tupac-lover, but really, that’s just the “falling” part of “falling in love”. Anyone can make the “falling” work. That’s easy. Gravity does most of the work (okay, uncalled for geek joke). The “love” part and its endurance are the hard ones to keep alive.
Couples need glue to remain a couple. And that glue is all the stuff that the two have in common. It’s watching 500 Days of Summer AND Terminator together, it’s laughing at the same jokes in The Office, it’s shaking their respective booties when they hear one of those really bad songs on the radio; it’s screaming “that was awesome!” in unison after having just watched Star Trek; it’s preferring to stay in on a Saturday night and tell stories from their childhood than go out clubbing; it’s enjoying a walk and an icecream together; it’s doing crazy, unusual stuff that defines and unites them.
Look at it this way: what’s the point of doing something you like if you can’t share the pleasure of it with someone else? Someone who knows that your obsession with baby elephants is not dorky or annoying but actually sweet and endearing, the same someone who knows that sometimes you just have to go outside and run like crazy not because you ARE crazy, but because it’s the only way you can clear your head.
Hollywood is filling our heads with ideas of very improbable love stories and is trying to make us believe they would actually work in the real world. Well, I beg to differ, Hollywood. Obviously this makes finding “the one for you” even harder. He/she has to be not only cute and sweet, funny and smart, but also possess all those qualities that make him/her the one “tailored” especially for you. But there are 6 billion people out there. Chances are you WILL find someone who loves baby elephants as much as you do.
Thanks, Alex...I couldn't agree more. Check out the cute couple at The Tell-Tale Blog!