30 before 30: #7-Get My No-No Waxed
EMAIL THIS ARTICLE Oh lord, here it is. Finally, after weeks of effing around with effing Windows Vista and sundry programs, the video is here. I do apologize in advance for not allowing you to actually see my naughty bits, but I thought that might be overkill.
Lisa and I headed to Tranquility Spa here in Columbus, and they were lovely, lovely people...who forcibly ripped the hair from my body, and took me from a grizzled twenty-nine-year-old woman to a twelve-year-old girl in a matter of minutes. Tranquility was very clean and classy, my aesthetician, Erica, was a total professional, and my dear friend Lisa was brave enough to work the camera (she claims to "not have looked at"...things). And yet, I can't help but feel as though I have lost a part of my innocence forever.
Namely, my Down Under innocence.
Some lady who I don't even know moved my girly bits around in an overly casual manner, just so I could look like a Barbie doll. She was very gentle, but I do feel as though we should have gotten to know one another better beforehand. I must say, however, the "after" is actually pretty nice for the summer time, though I am HIGHLY debating whether I should go back for a, er, touch up.
Anyway, without further ado, here's my first wax. If you listen very closely, you can hear the canned background music AND the ripping...hooray!
And yes, I did say at the beginning, "Oh, my lady balls."
Read more about my "30 before 30" adventures here!
Reader Comments (14)
Holy (lady) balls, Red! That was fucking hilarious! You're a braver woman than I am... Are you going to keep up with it?
OMG!!!!!!!!!!! I was wondering whether you'd be walking like that after ... this was hilarious. Oh Red ... I feel like I could go and get the private parts ripped off by a lady and make it out alive (and her too). OMG, this video was hilarious and you are totally adorable.
You are a goddess among women. 1) You had your lady parts totally assaulted in the name of...fashion? 2) You had yourself filmed while undergoing this horror. 3) Your post-wax commentary was literally hilarious.
But let me ask you this: Would you recommend it, or do you think you'll be happy going the rest of your life without having it done again?
"I'm pretty sure I have sinned in God's eyes, but I feel so smooth"
Best line EVER.
Hehe...I think I would do it at least one more time, just for the summer. Because, in spite of all the pain, it's just super nice to pull on your swimsuit and not have to worry about anything. But yeah, ouchie.
OMG that was hilarious! I don't see myself ever being comfortable with getting that done, seems 100 times worse than a smear. At least with a smear there are no ingrown hairs to worry about!
Welcome to the club. I've been waxed downstairs constantly for..... ready for this..... 20 years. I've not seen any hair in the netherlands for that long. I keep it up. its so..... well you get so use to it that hairy looks... wrong somehow.
Funny video, I can say that in 20 years I've never turned the camera on for it! Don't think I will!
Best, Susan
OMG. Funniest thing ever. No really. Ever. I cried I laughed so hard. You're fantastic.
*snort* OMG PRICELESS!!!!!
I laughed soooooooooooooo hard at that!!! You look like a wounded puppy!
Hope you bought yourself something shiney or sinfully delicious afterwards!!
you're a rock star sista!!
xo
...but I feel so smooth
So I have a question! I don't know anyyone who's done this(or at least will admit to it) but it's on my to-do list. How long did you let the hair grow prior to getting it waxed? I know it can't be TOO short because then the wax can't get a good grip, but I have no idea how long I'd have to wait. Do you know?
Kim, it somewhat depends on, well, how hairy you are, but they recommend that everything is at least 1/4" long. That way, the wax has something to "grip". Otherwise, it just kind of pulls, which, believe me, is not fun.
From one newly 12 year old girl to another...NEVER AGAIN will I have this done. EVER. Bikini? Maybe. Brazillian? Survey says NO.
Oh dear... I don't know how I ended up here. My kids are watching Blues Clues while I watch my old roommate get a wax job. Wow.
Hehehe...I think waxes and Blue's Clues pair nicely. :)