Four, One, Zero
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My mom was kind enough to help me file my taxes last night. At one point, she stopped and pointed to the screen.
"Why are you still that?" she asked, her finger resting on my last name. It was the first question she'd asked in over four years that even broached upon the subject of my divorce.
"That's who I am," I said simply, then paused. "I wasn't the same person, and couldn't go back to that name that represented someone else."
"You just don't like us anymore," she half-laughed, doing that "I'm-pretending-to-joke-so-the-truth-doesn't-hurt-so-bad" thing.
"No," I answered, (though this was only a partial, very complicated truth). "It's just that...that girl is gone. She is not here anymore. This name is who I am."
"Oh, well, most women go back to their maiden names, unless they have children."
And then, the conversation fizzled out as we both pretended to look for the information in Box D.
Sigh. Four years. One question. Zero closure. But who's counting...
Reader Comments (6)
Something about this post is remarkably beautiful.
I agree with Erin. Short but powerful. Love it!
Ditto the first two comments. Powerful stuff that.
Sometimes, parents have a way of saying just the right thing to make us crazy. Here's to mothers that find the worst words or the best words for any particular situation.
i love you and i admire you!!
Thanks for the encouragement...I've found with family it's sometimes just "baby steps" with everything. One of these days, I'll get them to stop saying, "Hate the sin, love the sinner" when they really mean, "Hate non-Baptists." BABY STEPS. :)