Breastfeeding in Public
Friday, June 20, 2008 at 11:38AM
Co-blogging with Jillian, Vol. 1, Issue 1.
Read Jillian's opinion over at And Other Times?.
Let me state at the outset:
1. I have nothing against boobs. In fact, I am probably more interested in breasts than most women, being that I have none of my own and often wonder what it would be like to actually show some blips on the boobie radar.
2. I have nothing against breastfeeding. There is enough conclusive, solid evidence out there that breastfeeding is best for your larvae child. Breastfeeding passes on immunities, has tons of all the right fats and vitamins and whatnot, is great in coffee, and hey, it makes your boobs bigger and helps you lose weight. If I do decide to spawn, I'm sure my children will have to be on the teat for like a year, since my allergies are terrible, and breastfeeding is a great way to help protect your kid against that.
3. I have nothing against the public. I like the public. It's out there. And often, people are in it. The public is a great way to share ideas (theatre), find something to do (advertising), and serves as an arena to observe humanity in all its glory.
Insert giant caps HOWEVER here.
I have a problem with public breastfeeding. Well, not a PROBLEM, problem. I am fine with public breastfeeding as long as it's private, i.e., please cover your ravenous child and your giant, swollen boob with a blanket. They've even invented reverse super hero capes (in trendy patterns!) to cover alladat.
Exhibit A:
Look! You can see the feet! And Mommy gets to look like an amputee, which is always cool!
Exhibit B:
OOoo! This one has a hole! This cape is super awesome, because it will give you a glimpse of just what it would be like to put your precious little one in an actual hole, maybe around the age of fourteen when "No one understands me or my music!" becomes his favorite phrase.
Why would you even want to do all that in the open? I mean, you know people are going to look, right? They're going to be looking at your breast, and that is all they will see. A breast. Not a "kid eating." BOOB. I guess with the capes the kid gets hot and you don't want Skippy to sweat to death, but...BOOOOOOOB.
I am willing to admit that maybe I don't like seeing it because I am not a mom and can't appreciate the "beautiful connection" that undoubtedly happens when someone pulls really hard on your nipples for thirty minutes at a time. Perhaps there is something wrong with me deep inside. But hey, I know that no one at the pool wants to see my giant, cellulite ridden ass. Ergo, I wear shorts over my bikini bottom. I'm just looking out for the feelings (and eyes) of others.
Some may argue that "My huge areola--you know, the one the size of a dinner plate?--is only exposed for maybe three seconds until little Dracula latches on." Or, "you don't have to look at my gigundous mammories." Okay, fine. Problem: I am not sure you are a) familiar with my luck (I always catch those three seconds. Always. And it feels like an eternity.) or b) familiar with how that image burns itself on my mind. In fact, your face is now forever replaced by a giant, pinky-brown circle and that is how I remember you.
Look. I am all for your rights and your decisions. I will fight for you to be able to breastfeed whenever, wherever. Seeing that, however, makes me feel uncomfortable. It does. Sorry. My PREFERENCE is that you cover up. It's polite. It's caring. It's brownie points in the "do unto others" category. Am I going to speak up when you do expose yourself while you provide the basic necessity for your child to live? No. I will be as respectful of your rights as I would hope you would be of mine.
Okay! Wow! Now go read Jillian's opinion over at And Other Times?
Reader Comments (9)
[...] out what the bat-shit crazy Naked Redhead has to say on the topic [...]
I think I was meaner than you were. I called you all sorts of names and spoke down right nastily about your hair. Sorry bout that.
Forgive?
PS... I LOVE your hair! I was only joking!
Very Funny. Coming from a seasoned breast feeding mom (with hot sauce) - both of you have valid points. I get it...but, frankly, Red, you need to get meaner....I mean Jillian went for the jugular. I know, you took the high road and there's some class in that, but Jillian is over here weepy and whining that she hurt your feelings....you should see the nubbin she has for a ponytail today.....and she thinks she can talk about your red afro....PLEASE.....
I don't have boobs, nor do I play one on TV, but I am a huge fan, from a biological as well as a purely aesthetic standpoint. When I see mothers breastfeeding in public, it invokes a mixed reaction. Part of me feels a comforting reassurance, to see such an intimate connection with the nurturing aspects of our humanity. It is as natural an expression of a mother's love for her child as you will ever be privileged to witness. Another part of me, the udderly skeevy part with frotteuro-voyeuristic tendencies, is screaming in my head "don't bogart the mammae, little dudelet! It's hard enough to surreptitiously ogle the goods without your little Great Gazoo head blocking the view! C'mon!!!!!" And babies, with the randomly misfiring synaptic connections in their primitive little malformed frontal lobes, of course have no empathy for my irrational preoccupation with the source of their sustenance. Selfish little f*ckers.
But really, the only time public breastfeeding made me uncomfortable was once when it was being done as an overt spectacle, an obvious act of defiance designed to call attention to itself. Was I being dared to look, or to look away?
Otherwise, I will nod but definitely not stare, smile pleasantly, and go about my business, while trying not to grind my teeth to jagged little stumps.
Jennifer--I am the Barack Obama of the blogosphere. Sorry. I can't help my diplomatic nature and obvious charm and good looks. In fact, the very THOUGHT that I would be meaner is a strange one, since I'm so damn AWESOME.
She's right, though...my hair IS very 'fro like.
And Jer...nice, my friend. Nice. :)
a quick nanosecond of boob is so much less offensive than a mother leaving her baby to cry. Half the population has boobs of one size or another, if you are lucky enough to get a glimpse in the nanosecond between bra open and baby attaching, then good for you! It isn't as if people don't know what boobs look like.
great post btw. I especially like the cape that makes the mother look like an amputee :)
Yeah, I suppose if I had to choose between boobage and screaming, I would take boobage. However, if a mother also chooses to end the screaming with plain old smothering, I'm okay with that, too.
KIDDING.
So as a person with boobs (that are a ting larger at the moment, thanks pipes!) and as some one who uses her boobs to feed her 3 month old, I am 110% with Red! I would be hard pressed to feed the baby in public. Natural or not, blah blah blah, i would just rather not. As for the cape...no thanks. I will just go to a dressing room or the bathroom, or even sit in my car and feed the baby! Go head red!