The Naked Redhead. Welcome to my site. Here you'll find emotional nudity, reviews, t-shirts, political commentary, rants, a little snark, some gayness and probably more than a little TMI. For my virgin voyage, I'm taking a lame blog "tag" game (you're supposed to post eight to ten random facts about yourself then "tag" another blogger...the latter of which I have no intention of doing) and using it here as a bit of an introduction. Please try to contain your excitement.
1. I talked to myself as a child...a lot. I stopped doing this at far too old an age. I made up stories, my stuffed animals talked, I routinely fantasized that I was saving my current crush from the brink of death and then they'd fall madly in love with me...in a word, I was a fucking weird kid. Most people thought so. Fortunately for me, I was blissfully unaware that I should be growing surly and bitter and caring what people thought of me until 'round about seventeen, when I suddenly realized I was a freak with no boyfriend. A funny freak, but a freak nonetheless.
2. I rarely think a woman is ugly. For all my snarkiness and sniping, I usually can find one thing about any girl that is cute or pleasant. Like, "Whoah! Her teeth are fucked up and she obviously has periodontal disease, but god if her hair isn't pretty." Call it a gift, call it delusion...I'm a nice person, dammit.
3. My favorite movie used to be "The Fugitive". I really, really have no idea why.
4. People often say, "I came from a conservative Christian background", and I just as often chuckle to myself and shake my head. Did your father say to your potential dates, "I'd like to walk my daughter down the aisle a virgin...how are you going to help me with that, young man"? Were you told in Sunday School that holding hands WAS sex? Were you subjected to the likes of Steve Green, Sandi Patti, old-school hymns, and then told that Amy Grant "prostituted herself to the secular world" when she wrote the innocuous and not overtly Christian "Baby, Baby"? Was your younger brother told he "looked like a homosexual" when he dyed his hair orange? I didn't think so. I believe I take the cake. Thank you.
5. I have been keeping a journal pretty regularly since I was about eight years old. I was a bit of a bitch even then and didn't know it. I do plan on sharing some of those entries from time to time...mostly because I feel as though my childhood wasn't traumatic enough, and I need you all to make fun of me now as an adult to make up for it.
6. I shouldn't want plastic surgery...it's horrible to be this good looking and want to change anything (and also, that money could go to the whole "AIDS crisis", "children starving" thing). BUT, if some rich, well-intentioned person GAVE me the money to go under the knife, I'd do the nose first, followed quickly by the boobies, and then I'd do something ridiculous, like having the fat sucked from my cheeks, or implanting beads into my head...just because.
7. I HATE the lines I'm getting between my eyebrows. My mom had them by about 33, and I always thought she looked angry (kids are so perceptive), so I'm always consciously trying not to have that "concentrating" look, which is hard, because I'm ridiculously intelligent. I mean, I used the word "innocuous" earlier! Holy shit, I'm awesome.
8. My favorite food is macaroni and cheese and has been since I was a child. It's really ridiculous. I also eat it with a spoon, which apparently is completely unnatural and reserved for total barbarians who have no manners and function poorly in society.
9. I rarely want to spell-check someone in the face more than when they misspell the contraction of "you" and "are".
10. My feet are nice. I've had several people tell me that over the course of my life. I've also had people tell me that they liked my ears. "You have nice ears," they'd say, while I blushed prettily. That is, until I realized that some people like ears because they remind them of vaginas. Awesome.
There you go. Ten facts that have undoubtedly changed your life dramatically.
Soon to Come:
-Movie Review: Transformers (hello, gratuitous product placement).
-Politics: "I'd be a feminist if I didn't hate women so much".
-Commentary: Cow-Town Mentality
-The Gays: "What to do when your gay isn't gay and you've already let him touch your boobies".
hopeful header
Friday, July 13, 2007 at 4:52PM