The Only Test I Sweat is a Drug Test

We just had our first mid-term of our grad school careers and people are freaking out.

I'm just glad I passed, and that my secret is still safe with me.  A secret which I will share with you now.

I am a lazy, lazy bastard.

I like to read through assignments and figure out the minimal requirements for getting the job done and still scoring an A.  B's are acceptable.  Even C's aren't upsetting, since I know in my heart that I really didn't try very hard.

HOORAY FOR UNDERACHIEVING.

This Body Makes My Butt Look Big

New look...very white and clean, just like I like my panties. Also, COMMENTS NOW WORK, YOU BIG COMPLAINERS. Sheesh.

I have said this before, but please, please really listen this time, because I sure haven't...

When you ask people their honest opinion of you, BE PREPARED FOR AN HONEST ANSWER IN RETURN. You may actually want to simply STOP asking people their honest opinion of you, because sometimes the answer sucks balls. And not always your balls, should you possess them.

This weekend, I asked my boyfriend the equivalent of the old "does this make me look fat" question, and he answered very honestly with the equivalent of the old "you make you look fat" answer.

I asked. He answered. It sucked balls.

However, I do respect his honesty, and the fact that he won't pussy-foot around just to spare my feelings (don't worry, he wasn't nearly as cold as I am making it sound.) I've known for awhile that I haven't been in my best shape, and I was sliding into a really horrible, at-least-I'm-not-as-fat-as-her-mentality (a mentality I don while eating Ben and Jerry's and watching "The Biggest Loser.") His answer was just the kick in the pants I needed to get back on the wagon.

So yes, my body makes my butt look big, but hopefully, in a couple months, it will be better. Hooray for leafy greens.

UPDATE:  I just did Jackie Warner's new lower body workout.  HOLY BALLS I WANT TO DIE.

Fat Bottom Girls

You know it's time to start losing weight when your boyfriend very sweetly says, "Um...if I design a work out plan for, um, BOTH of us, will you do it?" This is after repeated invitations of, "Would you, um, maybe like to join me at the gym tonight?"

Sigh. Getting fat sucks. Don't get me wrong, the road is paved with pints of Ben and Jerry's, which is awesome, but yeah...now I have to undo that shit.

And I have back fat. Ew. I have to get rid of back fat. And apparently, binging and purging is no longer fashionable.

ALL the cool diets go out of style.

Here and there and back again

Hey, all (and by all, I mean the two of you who read this shit). I will be posting as frequently as time allows...which being translated means "here and there." Grad school is turning out to be an unbelievable amount of work, and I routinely spend time either working on projects, procrastinating on working on projects or feeling guilty for not working on projects.

I had always heard that grad school is a unique experience...that it is a staggering time commitment, but at the same time, you're taking classes on stuff you actually like. And it's definitely true. So far, all my projects have been really cool, but they are incredibly time consuming.

I will do my best to be around here and there, and if any of you want to know what I am doing with school, you can follow me at my grad blog. It will be a tad academic, and the professor was very clear that it had to be "PG" but maybe you'll find it interesting.

Damn, this is gonna be hard...I really like being vulgar on the web.

BLOGS ARE COOL, DAMMIT

Last night, some of my classmates discovered that our next class will require us to post a weekly blog. The assignment appears to be an update on the old Composition Notebook journal, but some of my new friends were flustered. "I don't know anything about blogs!" one girl cried.

"A blog is where people go to whine about their days and what is going on their lives," another replied. "'Oh poor me! My life is so awful!'"

"That is so dumb," the first girl said.

"It's really the new form of voyeurism," another joined.

And the whole time, I'm sitting there mumbling, "Blogs aren't that bad," or "They're kind of cool," or "You're just not reading the right ones." I never came right out and said *I* have a blog...though it would have been fun to see people backpedal on their conversations. I feel as though I turned my back on my blog, though. Sorry, blog, but STAY! (*nail*) HERE! (*nail*)

That was for all of you who were involved in Christian youth group.

I do have a bone to pick with my classmates, though. If they do want to be savvy in marketing, bloggers are the next big thing, if not THE thing already. Blogs like www.dooce.com are generating so much ad revenue, the writer of the blog AND HER HUSBAND quit their jobs to maintain the site. Technorati.com lists the top 100 American blogs, and dooce ranges in the top twenty-five, along with other other personal "whiny" blogs. Freaking www.icanhascheezburger.com, the most ridiculous blog I've ever seen, currently holds court in the top ten. Ad companies fall over themselves to get the kind of exposure these "voyeuristic" sites bring.

I am a blog fan. I love the idea of compiling information, opinion and art all in one place. I love that it's free. I love that good bloggers are honest and broken and funny, and that you get to experience life alongside someone. Sure, you get a bunch of fourteen to forty year olds who are horrible writers talking about "and then SHE said this, and I was like, whoah," but to be out of touch with the blog world is to be out of touch with America.

And sure, that was a tad overblown...but it's true.  BLOGS ARE COOL, DAMMIT.